WWE Wrestlemania 33 Predictions
I don’t know if I’m getting surlier as I get older or if I just reflect too much on what WWE SHOULD be doing instead of enjoying WHAT they’re doing but this year’s Wrestlemania is probably the least anticipated in my books in a long time.
Most matches on the card don’t feel like a Wrestlemania match to me. What I mean is that there aren’t any matches that seem larger than life or that any truly feature a “must win” situation for their character. Maybe my low expectations and some surprises will make this Sunday’s event worth the viewing.
Raw and Smackdown’s “Go-Home” shows for the event really didn’t do too much for me either with many of the confrontations not being any better than what we’ve seen in the past. Then again, you know what they say about opinions.
I’ll also state that I’m disappointed in so many of the matches that are trying to cram in so many people as possible. I miss the days of really good storytelling from Survivor Series or the Royal Rumble coming to a climax with a Wrestlemania match and ending the feud.
There’s no Smackdown Tag Team championship match on the show, Braun Strowman and Sami Zayn are placed in the Battle Royal when they both deserve a match, Samoa Joe isn’t in a match, Finn Balor is still MIA, too many wrestlers are being thrown into matches that would just have benefited by less people if WWE Creative would have focused on building compelling stories, and AJ Styles, one of the BEST wrestlers in the company, is going to have to sell the shitty punches of the bosses’ son instead of tearing the house down with someone else.
One positive is: it IS Wrestlemania so I’m sure we’ll be in for some surprises.
Diatribes aside, here’s my thoughts on this year’s big event!
Kick-Off Show: Andre the Giant Battle Royal
This is the fourth annual edition and while it may be easy to say The Big Show will win this to give him one final Wrestlemania moment, I think he’ll continue to be a team player and not put up any fuss about WWE using this to try and build up another wrestler. Out of all the other people currently advertised for this match, I’ll predict Brawn Stroman will pick up the win because he needs the win after being fed to Roman Reigns. Reigns and Sami Zayn both deserve much better on the Wrestlemania card than this. As well, where the hell is Samoa Joe on the card? Add him to the list – or at least put Joe vs. Zayn in a match on the show or the pre-show.
Winner: Brawn Stroman
Kick-Off Show: Alexa Bliss (Champ) vs. Natayla vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Becky Lynch vs. Naomi (who knows who else?) –
Smackdown Women’s Championship Match
Here’s another one of the matches that has too many participants but I still feel a bit bad that this has been relegated to the Pre-Show. I would have just loved to see a simple one on one match that would end a story or feud. Unfortunately, WWE Creative has dropped the ball setting up stories or blowing through them too fast. Hell, they could have used the last few weeks with turning Mickie James back into a face and focus on Bliss robbing her of the promised opportunity at the championship and let them go at it. Nope. They blew through all possible one on one matches in a few weeks.
Could we see the return of Eva Marie? Could we see the return for another former Diva or Women’s Champ? That’s the fun thing about Wrestlemania. I WAS going to go with giving the crowd the “feel-good” moment with Becky Lynch finally getting the title back, but with Naomi appearing and getting cleared for this Sunday’s event, I’m now putting my money on Naomi winning the title back. If she doesn’t, I’m sure now she’ll be the person to get pinned by whoever wins the title to immediately enter back into the main event spotlight.
Kick-Off Show: Neville (Champ) vs. Austin Aries –
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Here’s a good feud that has developed in only a few short weeks and I know these two will do their best to steal the show. Unfortunately, the have been placed on the Kick-Off Show. I have NO idea why. Perhaps WWE Creative know they have two of the most talented wrestlers squaring off for the first time and some others know how these two could tear down the house and show up some others on the roster.
These two are probably putting huge pressure on themselves to deliver the best match of their lives. The Cruiserweight division and its future is probably riding on their performance.
Expect crowed inducing “holy shit” chants from crazy spots, amazing athleticism, and actual storytelling in a match. Neville has done so well in his role over the last couple months and he’s such a good heel I don’t think a loss will hurt him at all here but I also think he should be rewarded by keeping the title. Austin Aries, on the other hand, has been built up and he needs to win to show he belongs in the big leagues. With an Austin Aries win, there’s still a lot more WWE can do with their feud but he’s popular enough (and will be even more-so after this match) that a loss probably won’t hurt him either.
Bayley (Champ) vs. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax –
Raw Women’s Championship Four Way Elimination Match
Here’s another watered-down mess. WWE could have had the buildup of Bayley chasing the Queen of PPV this whole time but they blew it with an early Bayley title reign that’s only benefitted Stephanie McMahon by berating Bayley backstage. Throw in Bayley only winning by Sasha interfering and losses that make her look weak and you can see nothing leading up to this match has done anything for any of the women.
I just can’t see anyone else but Charlotte winning this. Nia Jax is too green and boring and it’s being predicted we’re going to see Bayley and Sasha feud. The only question is, with or without the title, who or what is next for Charlotte? Nia Jax isn’t turning face soon and Charlotte is too great as a baddy to try and turn at this point against Nax. Bayley and Sasha COULD feud over the championship and I’m OK with one of them winning, too. I think Asuka will drop the NXT Women’s Championship to Amber Moon at the NXT Takeover show the night before WM and debut on Raw the next night to be the next person to challenge Charlotte. Let’s just hope they BUILD the story between the two.
Dean Ambrose (Champ) vs. Baron Corbin –
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Here’s a feud that I think has been built well. Corbin is decent in the ring and getting better. I’m hoping his mic skills start improving a bit soon (he’s good on Talking Smack but sometimes there’s something lacking during Smackdown). I guess promo ability is moot here because we’re talking about a match and I think this one will be one to watch. I’m actually surprised they didn’t turn this into a no DQ match or even a ladder match because these two have been brutal to each other in and out of the ring leading up to this showdown.
Ambrose is a fan favourite and the crowd will only grow more behind him when he’s chasing a title. This is the time for WWE to pull the trigger on Corbin and see if he can lead the top of the mid-card as champ.
Winner: Baron Corbin
John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse – Mixed Tag Team Match
Laugh all you want, but I want to watch this match because the build has been so good. The Miz is GOLD and I think WWE putting him with Cena in this match is their way of saying, “great job this year.” With Cena going off to do more filming of shows and Hollywood stuff and the rumours of Nikki Bella retiring soon, I’m really scratching my head picking a winner here.
The Miz would really benefit for the win here, especially sticking around and it would help propel him to the Heavyweight championship picture. On the other hand, if Cena is going away for a while and Nikki is riding off into the sunset soon, will they get a feel-good moment?
There are also rumours that Cena will pop the question to Nikki in front of the world. A great scenario would be Maryse getting the pin on Nikki and it causes her to be sad and disappointed. Cena will then get on the mic and propose. While I really don’t care if that does happen or not, everyone would win: Miz and Maryse get the win, Cena could get the last laugh on the Miz at the end of the match, and the crowd goes nuts for the newly engaged couple. No matter what, I’m going with the heels here.
Winners: The Miz and Maryse
Gallows & Anderson (Champs) vs. Sheamus & Cesaro vs. Enzo & Cass – Ladder Match for the Raw Tag Team Championship
What SHOULD happen here is WWE putting over Gallows & Anderson for all the garbage booking they put them through in 2016 but I don’t think that will happen. The crowd will pop like mad for Enzo & Cass coming out but I don’t expect a win here for them. In the end, I think the win will go to crowd favourites Cesaro and Sheamus.
I was just actually thinking last week about WWE not having a ladder match on the card. Once Gallows and Andeson used it on Raw on Sheamus and Cesaro and they returned the favour later on, you knew it was a matter of time before it was announced…and it was. It’s unfortunate that a gimmick like a ladder match is what is actually getting me excited about watching this instead of a pure feud over the importance of being the champs and the better team.
Winners: Cesaro & Sheamus
Chris Jericho (Champ) vs. Kevin Owens – US Championship Match
Here’s another feud that has been set up and written well. WWE had their impending break up teased for a while now and while some can argue the break-up may have come too soon, hindsight makes me think they did it at the right time.
I think these two will tear down the house and their pairing will make for an exciting match. I wouldn’t doubt in Kevin Owens gains some heat for somehow getting the cheap win, but his victory is inevitable. Jericho is getting ready for some touring and recording a new album with his band, Fozzy, so it would really surprise me if he won here. Then again, Jericho won against AJ Styles last year and that didn’t need to happen.
Winner: Kevin Owens
Seth Rollins vs. Triple H – Non Sanctioned Match
I guess this is one way of getting Rollins on the card so he can perform in some capacity. If Seth Rollns’ knee is actually 100%, they’re sure doing a great job of playing up the injury. These two will brawl hard I wouldn’t doubt if there’s more interference from other wrestlers in this match like Samoa Joe. If that’s the case, I also wouldn’t doubt if this is the match where we see the return of Finn Balor (unless they’re saving him for the Raw after Wrestlemania).
Triple H has fed his own ego in Wrestlemania matches before, so it just wouldn’t surprise me if he went over in this match. The optimist in me thinks Rollins will get the win. Unfortunately, what’s a win if you’re not 100% and won’t be wrestling often in the future?
Winner: Seth Rollins
The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns
I think WWE has really dropped the ball with this match up. Unless they’re planning on a full blown heel turn with Reigns, this is all for nothing. There’s been no real indication why they are feuding and I feel they didn’t play the tension out between them for long enough.
Undertaker looked fragile and winded just choke-slamming Braun Strowman two weeks ago so I just don’t know how much Taker has left in him. I also think this is going to be the same style of match Reigns has worked the last couple of PPVs – get beaten up most of the match and come back Hogan or Super Cena style to win. It’s going to be a bore-fest and the crowd will boo the hell out of Reigns while the WWE cameras focus on the few signs and the kids wearing his T-Shirts.
Winner: Roman Reigns
Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles
Here’s another match I don’t want to see happen, but here we are. I hate the idea that Shane McMahon can hang with the WRESTLERS in the same way I’ve always detested celebrities being able to stand toe-to-toe with them.
Shane will have his usual spots and do his best to try and land his garbage punches. Styles will look foolish selling all of it.
The one positive we can maybe take away from this all is WWE believes Styles has enough talent and star power to actually be in a match with a McMahon.
In the end, I just can’t fathom that Styles will lose this match. If he does, it’ll be because of some kind of interference.
Winner: AJ Styles
Bray Wyatt (Champ) vs. Randy Orton –
WWE Heavyweight Championship Match
What a bunch of crap this has been. There’s been no focus on the Championship and what it means. We’ve got boring Randy Orton being an arsonist and Wyatt doing even more supernatural mumbo-jumbo. I could care less. The end of Smackdown with Orton placing some kind of cross in the spot where Sister Abigal was buried (along with the whole stupid promo), was the worst. This match has been built up so ridiculously I am absolutely appalled that the people writing and approving this actually have jobs with WWE.
Look, I’m all for Wyatt being the champ but when he won it, didn’t the announce team go over the top saying how Wyatt holding the belt isn’t good because he’d spread darkness and fear all over or some crap like that? We’ve seen no importance of him carrying the title and this feud between the two doesn’t even need it. Wouldn’t it be better if they’re feuding over betrayal and arson with no title involved and let the WWE Heavyweight Championship mean something to two other wrestlers?
I hope I’m proven wrong but I just don’t expect much from this match but I’m sure that’s also because I’m biased against Randy Orton. I find him so unbelievably boring.
I know people are predicting the reformation of the Wyatt “Family” in some sort of capacity with Erik Rowan returning, but Rowan was basically the family’s jobber, so he means nothing and neither will his return. If there was interference in this match, I think it would be cool to finally see the appearance of someone encompassing the soul of Sister Abigail. That would be cool. Wyatt needs this win more than most others on this card. If not, we’re back to the same old BS and the WWE audience doesn’t want that.
Lastly, if Bray Wyatt doesn’t win, WWE might as well let him go because Wyatt and been portrayed as larger than life, the new darkness of WWE, the master of mindgames, and more, only to be beaten in the ring on numerous occasions. There’s the “ultimate thrill ride” right there – an up and down career.
Winner: Bray Wyatt
Goldberg (Champ) vs. Brock Lesnar –
WWE Universal Championship
I want to say that I am looking forward to this match less than Wyatt/Orton, but after the end of Smackdown the last two weeks, that changed. I guess I’m anxious to see if to see if the fans will turn on both men like they did so many years ago. I just can’t believe that in 2017, we’re seeing two part timers with one over the hill guy in the main event of Wrestlemania.
I don’t think Goldberg will be continuing on with WWE after Wrestlemania and Brock needs revenge so that means I think Lesnar will be winning this match. How long will it go? Will it be botchy? Will someone actually interfere somehow? What happens if Lesnar beats Goldberg more quickly than Lesnar got beat at Survivor Series? Will the crowd respond negatively? I think these questions are the reason I rate this match higher on my anticipation scale than Wyatt/Orton.
Unfortunately, if Lesnar wins the championship, we’re back to a part time champion and look how well that worked. There’s no current “Money in the Bank” holder to potentially free us of this predicament. Maybe we’ll get lucky and some will come out and challenge the winner of the match like Hogan did at Wrestlemania IX after Bret Hart lost to Yokozuna. I can dream, right?
Winner: Brock Lesnar