WWE Hell in a Cell 2016 Predictions
I’m skipped my Raw and Smackdown Live thoughts this week as I knew I could tackle what was important with Raw in this column and Smackdown was the same program we’ve been watching for the last month and a half (except with James Ellsworth costing Ambrose a title shot and Orton supposedly joining the Wyatt Family in some capacity).
Seeing how this IS a Raw brand PPV, I will start off by acknowledging the Paul Heyman/Brock Lesnar promo. I couldn’t believe the ignorance of Vince McMahon and his writing team thinking they could get the crowd to boo Lesnar in his hometown and chant Goldberg’s name. I’m glad it failed and someone told them, “told ya so!” It shows how absolutely out of touch they can be and that they cannot control the audience. I wonder if one of them may on be hand to address the crowd.
As for this Sunday’s PPV, for the first time ever, we have a PPV event with THREE matches that will be in the Cell. Why? I don’t know. The only feud that can really be justified to be using the Cell, in my eyes, is Rusev and Reigns as they have been at each other since before Summerslam. Anyway, here’s who I think will win in the order I would put the matches.
Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson
Boy, how these two teams have lost their shine. Gallows and Anderson should have come in and destroyed the division after the brand split but they were constantly buried by WWE Creative and lost to The New Day. Now they’ve lost their singles matches quickly to Enzo and Cass. Enzo and Cass haven’t been relevant for months and are on the show just to spew catch phrases. I feel bad for both teams as they should have better feuds written for them. Seeing how it really doesn’t matter who wins here and WWE will give them less than 10 minutes for this match, Gallows and Anderson will get the win to avenge their single losses from the last two weeks. Winners: Gallows and Anderson
TJ Perkins(Champ) vs. Brian Kendrick –
WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
I hate that WWE keep referring to Kendrick as old and this may be his last hurrah, as he’s the same age or younger than some of WWE’s veterans or top performers! As well, this whole sad/crying Kendrick on Raw begging Perkins to lie down so he can win was just awful writing. What the hell is the point of making Kendrick look like that kind of competitor after trying to have him be built to be a ruthless opponent that will stop at nothing to be on top of the mountain? There isn’t one! So because of WWE’s lack of consistency with story-telling or creating characters people can boo or cheer, they have Kendrick beg, cry AND lose a match this week. Idiots! How can you get behind a challenger or potential winner with that? Mind you, they really haven’t given us too much to get behind Perkins, either. Winner: TJ Perkins
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
The crowd turned on their impromptu arm wrestling segment on Monday’s show and I’m glad they did as it was such an awful idea. Bayley is someone who will probably be next in line to go after the champ next while Dana needs to grow in the ring still. Short and sweet here. Winner: Bayley
The New Day (Champs) vs. Cesaro and Sheamus –
WWE Tag Team Championship
Considering we didn’t have a “Best of Seven” winner and there’s no logic in Foley’s statement about them not getting a final match as he’s afraid of one of them getting hurt (although he placed THREE matches in the Cell for this PPV), Sheamus and Cesaro need to be rewarded for their efforts somehow. This match will be their reward. The New Day is boring as hell and I think have run their course (except for their merch that the kiddies buy). It’s time for a changing of the guard and an odd couple (ALA Kane and Daniel Bryan) to bitch about who the better man is in the team wearing the gold. Winners: Cesaro and Sheamus
Roman Reigns (Champ) vs. Rusev –
WWE United States Championship Match Inside Hell in a Cell
I feel like I’m a broken record here as I’ll state again that this is Bizarro land because in any other feud, Reigns would be the heel/bad guy here. He’s done nothing but insult, provoke, interfere, and maim Rusev and Lana. Vince and Co. want Reigns over so bad, their out of touch logic of someone all these things to someone who ISN’T from the USA will work. It hasn’t. The crowd still boos the hell out of Reigns (although the kiddies buy his shirts) and every PPV, Reigns kicks out of everything and is beaten down all match until he “Hulks Up” or becomes “Super Cena” to the chagrin of the audience. We won’t see anything different here. Winner: Roman Reigns
Sasha Banks (Champ) vs. Charlotte –
WWE Women’s Championship Match Inside Hell in a Cell
I’m someone who really didn’t like the contract signing on Raw. I found Foley to be too loud and he talked about himself and the dangers of the Cell too much. If the match is that dangerous (and he wouldn’t let Sheamus and Cesaro wrestle in another match), why would he and WWE sanction it?
Anyway, while these two do have a score to settle, I don’t think it has escalated to Hell in a Cell levels. I think the ladies will do their best to tear the house down but I just hope someone isn’t going to go over the top. Both their previous encounters have had moments where moves were botched or mistimed, so the risk of injury was high.
With Sasha Banks winning the belt back about a month ago, I have no reason to believe that Charlotte will win it back so soon. If anything, WWE should have made this whole story about Sasha wanting to risk it all in the Cell to prove she could beat Charlotte once and for all. Instead we got the same promos from the ladies over the last three weeks where Sasha says she’s the Boss and Charlotte playing the excellent cocky heel. Winner: Sasha Banks
Kevin Owens (Champ) vs. Seth Rollins –
WWE Universal Championship Match Inside Hell in a Cell
I can’t believe WWE Creative had Rollins pin BOTH Jericho and the champ, Kevin Owens, in their match on Raw. I don’t care how good you are, you should not be able to pin two guys at once, especially not a former WWE Champ and a current WWE Champ.
All bitching aside, Rollins still isn’t placed where they need him to be to be a great baby face. They dropped that ball when he came back and they’re still running to catch up to it. Owens is so bad, he’s good and the cheers for him are well deserved.
I feel there really hasn’t been a good story told leading up to this match. Hell, last Monday’s show was all about Jericho’s “list” and the friendship between Owens and Jericho. While the other story, and one that continues EVER Monday night, is Rollins’ disdain for Stephanie McMahon and Triple H. That’s why I think we’ll see HHH on Sunday so that story will continue to develop and we’ll see Owens and Jericho fracture leading up to Jericho’s next departure when he has to go a do stuff with his band Fozzy. That’s why I don’t think there will be any change with who is WWE Universal Champion: there’s been no real story between the two competitors. Winner: Kevin Owens.
On a side note, I wonder how Jericho will fit into the picture on Sunday. Hmm…